Downward spiral? I think yes.

Yesterday, I got drunk in the library. That, my friends, is a new low.

But really, it was fun. I hung out with my good friend Avery and drank Woodchuck and bitched about life. After two, I took off to the library to ya know, be studious and shit. I took a seat next to Brittany and handed her a Woodchuck, because yes-I had them in my backpack. Brittany and I proceeded to wrap our cans of Woodchuck in paper towel and continued to “study”.

With four Woodchucks pulsing through my bloodstream, I finally gave up, took a walk in the cold to wake up and regrettably drove home. At home, I poured a bubble bath, continued to drink one final Woodchuck and then thought about crying. But that is as far I got, just thinking about it.

Things suck right now. It’s really frustrating that I automatically try to be positive because sometimes I just want to be like YES-THIS FUCKING SUCKS RIGHT NOW. And have that be ok. So in honor of that, here is a list of everything that currently fucking blows.

  1. I did not get into JET
  2. I’m still expected to study for Japanese
  3. Dexter’s birthday is tomorrow and I feel guilty and literally confused about if it’s mean to not say Happy Birthday-WHY?
  4. He cheated so I know its ok to not say happy birthday. Repeat, he cheated.
  5. I have a cold
  6. My colleagues probs don’t like me
  7. My mother’s degenerative disease is worsening and it’s an unspoken rule that no one speaks of it…
  8. So naturally, my mom hasn’t even texted me in like, four days.

Automatic guilty feelings! It feels so wrong to be negative or to admit what’s wrong! 

But ultimately, it’s ok to voice that things are hard. Being positive all the time is exhausting.

And that my friends is why I am currently drinking ANOTHER Woodchuck… ANNNND goodnight!

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2 thoughts on “Downward spiral? I think yes.

  1. Crying feels good sometimes.

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