The Dick Pic.

Disclaimer: Do not get too excited, this “Dick Pic” is not what you’re thinking it is. At all. 

Typically, I would describe myself as a rather serious and mature young woman. I am driven, motivated, and hardworking often to excruciating and unnecessary levels. But today, I became a 12 year old boy-that is, maturity wise.

1 hour into my horrendously dull 1 hour 15 minute science class, the professor drew a diagram on the board. Now, this story is slightly lack luster because I was trying so incredibly hard to stifle my laughter that I don’t have the slightest clue what the diagram was meant to represent. Something about DNA/RNA, something boring as fuck.

All I saw was a dick.

While she obliviously continued her lecture, adding what my mind viewed as little ball hairs to her biological depiction, I did everything I could to keep my shit together. I bit my tongue, my cheek, I faked a cough, I looked away. All of said attempts failed tragically. Over the past five or so classes, I’ve bonded with the dude next to me over the exceptionally boring nature of the class lectures and we again bonded over our immature brains that we

  1. could not turn off
  2. could not mask with maturity

“Do you see that?” he whispered. “Um, yeahhh.” I spoke my words to the top of the table without making eye contact. Surely, if I looked at him, I would lose it all together and burst into laughter and hysteria. I only had to attempt to maintain my composure for about 3 minutes, but it felt like an eternity. I could feel the red in my cheeks. Dear God, how old am I?

Unfortunately, I did not get a picture. After the explanation she erased the giant chalk penis and moved on.

Moral of this story:

  • it is ok to occasionally act like a 12 year old boy
  • bonding with your neighbor is always worth it
  • there is value in being able to take sneaky iPhone pictures unnoticed
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