GROUPER.

Two weeks ago, Susan, Savannah, and I signed up for Grouper, a group dating service that my older friend told me about. Grouper is a social club that sets up drinks between two groups of friends; three girls and three guys. So what the hell, we did it.

Last night was our “date”. Grouper doesn’t tell you who you’re matched with, so it’s like a blind date. They set up a round of free drinks for you at a bar and you meet up with your matches. First of all, our bar was at a hostel and that freaked me the fuck out! But after some reassurance, I was convinced that that was not in fact a subliminal suggestion to sleep with total strangers. Thank God.

I borrowed Susan’s hot leather jacket, we looked fucking fabulous, and off we went! We were all cracking up in the car because we were literally nervous, like butterflies! We got to the odd hostel bar and were directed that the lounge was “through the bookcase”.

Um… what?

But now, we did not hear wrong, it was literally through the bookcase. The bookcase slid to the side revealing a somewhat secret bar with tables and booths and it was kind of bad ass! Another reason why I fucking love Hipsterville. After some awkward standing and waiting, we were directed to our three guys. Here is who we discovered…

  1. Charlie-Charlie most certainly had to be gay. WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU HERE I kept screaming aloud in my head. He was not attractive nor was he ugly. He was not tall nor was he short. He was absolutely most certainly average. Average and boring. He ran a start up company, some app that you could send yourself “reminders” and it would randomly kick it back to you like two weeks later. Sounded dumb. I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I could just fucking text myself if I really had a quote I wanted to remember or something. But that’s that.
  2. Max-Max was the least impressionable. He was short, odd, and nerdy. That is all the relevant information I have on him.
  3. Carl-Carl was blonde, weird teeth, and was from Idaho. He was almost, moderately normal. He was slightly less boring than his other friends. At one point, we were playing our infamous and nameless game of obtaining “points” for doing ballsy dares and stupid shit and he got 30 points for reading a passage of a book romantically to a bartender. It was hilarious!

Even though these dudes were not the sexy Ken-like dolls I was imagining, they were still entertaining and we had the BEST time.

Here’s a play-by-play:

  • asked “icebreaker” like questions such as “would you rather sky dive or bungee jump” “would you rather walk in on your parents having sex or have them walk in on you” etc.
  • took funny and slightly wild pictures and of course-uploaded that shit across every social media platform that we have.
  • went to a fun rooftop bar
  • Charlie stole a balloon for me
  • I pretended it was my birthday
  • FREE JELLO SHOTS
  • dancing, dancing, more dancing
  • 90s throw back music
  • DRINKS, DRUNK
  • being slightly disappointed I couldn’t flirt with any of the hotties at this bar cause I was on a “date” BOO I WAS FEELIN HOT.

It was a wild hoot of a night and even though I have absolutely zero desire to hang out with any of them again, it was the best time I’ve had in a while! It was hysterical, laid back, silly, exciting, and just weird and frankly-I like weird! A+ Grouper, A+.

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