Hashtag My Awkward Life

Every year the University of Hipsterville hosts 20 Japanese students on campus for two weeks. Considering my weird love and fascination with the Japanese, I have always enjoyed these two, long-awaited weeks. The level of awkwardness on our campus rises from a 4 to a solid 9 the second the Japanese exchange students step foot at our school and I fucking love it. It’s hysterical and oddly puts me at ease. Finally, someone else is tripping more often and doing more awkward shit than I am.

Yesterday in my Japanese class, the exchange students joined us. Stereotypically enough, all of the Japanese students were shy and nervous and same goes for myself and all of the nerdy hipsters enrolled in Japanese class. I am extremely uncomfortable with long amounts of silence and nervous people so I do EVERYTHING I can to be silly, talk a lot, ask questions, and show energy in hopes of encouraging other people to follow along.

And as always, it was a complete and utter failure. 

As a class we did an activity to teach each other idioms and phrases that don’t make sense literally in English and Japanese. The professor went first and provided an example “It’s raining cats and dogs”. The Japanese students oohed and ahhhed over the explanation of this phrase’s meaning in our everyday expressions. Then the professor opened it up for students to give other similar examples.

Crickets.

And not for you know, a few moments… But for like, FOR-EVV-ERR.

I could feel it, the pressure was building and I wasn’t going to be able to tolerate it for much longer. Like a tea pot on the kettle (which I do not actually know what that’s like…. but you’re picking up what I’m putting down) I finally erupted.

“OK, OK! I have one!” I announced proudly and probably a little too loudly. I made my way to the front of the class. Why? I could have just fucking stayed where I was, everyone could see and hear me, especially when my loud voice boomed suddenly and randomly. But shit I was already halfway up there before my mind caught up to what my legs were doing. There I stood at the front of the class.

“Whhhhy. The. Fuck. I’ve gone and done it again” I thought to myself. 

“In English, there’s been this thing and it’s like a fad-wait! You probably don’t know what fad is… ok, um… OK!” I proceeded to start over… “Ok, in English, there’s been this thing and it’s been really popular. It’s called YOLO,” I sounded it out to the class like I was speaking to a bunch of mentally challenged kindergartners. FUCK I’m so God damn awkward, just push through Sara, push through! “So YOLO stands for You Only Live Once and people like, say it when they do dumb things.”

BLANK STARES

“Uhh, like you know, ok I’m going to jump off this building now so- YOLO! And it’s like, a thing in English and on Twitter. Do y’all tweet? People will be like, #YOLO for all sorts of dumb things” Why? Why the hell? Of all examples possible, I just told a class of 20 Japanese students that Americans jump of buildings and scream YOLO because its “like, a thing”. I’m so done.

“Ohhhhh-kay then,” the professor chimed in awkwardly. “Thank you, Sara. That was um, nice, thank you”. I slumped back to my seat awkwardly and that when “the bully”, Phillip that I so fondly hate on in previous posts said the rudest, yet potentially accurate statement that caused my cheeks to visibly flush red with embarrassment and rage.

“That was such an embarrassment to all Americans.” 

BRB hiding under my desk now. I hate everything. Especially Phillip.

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