Most Days, I am Conflicted.

  • Most days, I want to go home. But I don’t know where home is.
  • Most days, I want to move away. But I don’t want to leave the life I’ve made here.
  • Most days, I want to go on adventures and be fearless. But I also want to build a history somewhere.
  • Most days, I want to move to Japan to teach English. But I don’t want to be discriminated against for being a woman.
  • Most days, I want to be alone. But I don’t want to feel lonely.
  • Most days, I think that I know exactly what I want to do. But I don’t want to discover that I’m wrong.
  • Most days, I want to be able to do nothing. But I don’t want to feel like I haven’t contributed anything.
  • Most days, I want someone to tell me I matter. But I don’t want attention because it makes me uncomfortable.
  • Most days,  I want to smile. But I only want to smile at the things that are worth it.
  • Most days, I want my mom to call me. But I don’t want to talk.
  • Most days, I want clarity. But I am chronically confused.
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