Just, Why?

I try to have a positive outlook on life. I try really hard. Positivity is one of my strengths, but sometimes I just have to give myself 15 minutes and a bubble bath to just wallow in the pure misery of the reality that is in fact, my life. Quick state of the union…

  • skipped a class
  • failed a quiz
  • forgot to feed myself
  • snapped at a friend
  • foroutiously ate 6 Reeses Cups
  • got a rejection letter
  • car battery died
  • didn’t come back to life on its own…
  • stayed dead for 8 days
  • didn’t finish my to-do list
  • snapped at a second friend
  • didn’t start any homework
  • royally fucked up my Japanese speech in class

In Japanese, we had to give a presentation to the class about our experiences with the Japanese students who visited us a few weeks ago. The speech had to be FOUR minutes long. That’s a really fucking long time when you have to 1. stand in front of a class and give a speech to a bunch of bullies who hate you 2. do it in Japanese. We were encouraged to memorize what we were going to say. Reading straight from a notecard would be an automatic 5 point reduction.

Seems fucking worth it to me! I read straight off my notecard and took my reduction like a champ. Whatever.

But here’s how I royally fucked it up. The last line in my speech was suppose to say “I really liked my new Japanese friends”. But of course, here’s how the last line and moments after actually went… (*the moments below occurred in Japanese so use you’re imagination)

  • ME: She had fun. We ate hamburgers. We had fun. It was fun.
  • Pity stares
  • ME: Finally, I really hated my new Japanese friends.
  • giggles
  • PROFESSOR: Oh, did you mean to say liked?
  • ME: No, hated.
  • PROFESSOR: You didn’t like them?
  • ME: Yes, I really hated my new Japanese friends.

And then I sat down.


Fuuuuuuuckkkk ballllllls. I mixed up my words and just said, with the most confidence in the whole world that I hated the Japanese kids THREE times.

And it’s shit like that that always seems to put the cherry on top of the bullshit sundae and make me wonder why the fuck is it always me. Why, just why?


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