The Trials and Tribulations of Tiny Titties

Confession-I never wear bras with underwires.

I just don’t need to! I am blessed with the best and I can comfortably sport a t-shirt bra every waking moment of every day with zero problems. But tonight, I decided to bust out the big ones and wear a real bra with a clasp and everything to my Senior Honors Night. I wore a dress. It took me two attempts to “get it right” and even on the second dress, I fucked that up REAL good.

I wore my ONLY Victoria’s Secret, 32A push-up bra. It was gel infused and horribly uncomfortable. Somehow, at some course throughout the 30 minutes I wore the dress before Honors Night began, I poked myself in the titty. Then, slowly, my right boob drained of its gel, seeping a HUGE stain onto the boob of the dress. At first, the stain was small, but then it grew, and grew, and grew until it literally consumed my whole right half.

All of the gel was oozing onto my real pretty, and NEW dress. All I could do was hold my fucking “Made in China” award in front of it in hopes that no one would notice the massive grease stain that was forming and growing on my chest…

It was one of the most epic wardrobe malfunctions in the history of the world, I’m very sure. HAHA! It would only happen to me. 20140429-005142.jpg

Have no shame, don’t be embarrassed–zoom in! You can even see the “poke” hole that started it all. My life is hysterical.

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One thought on “The Trials and Tribulations of Tiny Titties

  1. I can’t. I just…I can’t. This is just…I think this is probably the best thing I’ve read on here. In my lifetime. You should def write a book and I would totally read it. Sending love, sending love.

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