I see a lot of life as black or white, right or wrong, yes or no. I believe that regret is a wasteful emotion. For the most part, I accept things as they are and move forward. I don’t often ask a lot of questions. I rarely dwell on the what-ifs and what-could’ve-beens.
In an Interpersonal Communication course I took a while back, I learned that I communicate and view life in a similar way as the stereotypical male. When someone brings me a problem, I offer a potential solution. When someone tries to “relate to my situation” I am describing, I often get confused and wonder if they are trying to one-up me.
Sometimes I wonder if this is a subconscious reflex in order to protect myself. If I did allow myself to experience regret, if I didn’t accept things as they are, if I wondered what-if and what-could’ve-been, what would happen to me? What would I be opening myself up to? But the thought alone makes me feel tired.
I simply prefer simple solutions and the state of satisfaction.
Sometimes, I wonder if some of my friends prefer misery. For example, my sassy friend Avery thrives in drama and unrest. After hanging out with her, I always need a nap. Her life is always crazy and OMG it’s ridiculous. Stop it. I love you, but stop. Really. Her latest life drama is her indecisiveness regarding her decision on whether or not to apply to medical school. She has said it herself, she doesn’t want to go. But if she doesn’t apply, what if she wonders what-if her whole life?!?! Cue the dramatics.
I just function very differently. If I don’t want to do something, usually I just don’t do it. The whole back-and-forth tug of war with oneself is not a pastime that I typically partake in. That’s why today I became fed up with Avery.
4 hours and no reply. Oops.