Vomit on My iPhone

Today, Molley and Dexter returned from an international school trip. No cell phones. No internet. No communication. Elated to get to talk to my good friend Molley again, she texted me this shortly after we began chatting…

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Today, I came to the crushing realization that there is no escaping it. Not only did Cooper accidentally let it slip to his roommate, the ugly and awful Dexter, where I will be employed in the fall, but Cooper also accidentally let it slip to me that Dexter will be a American Teacher Foundation organization member in 2015. 

“You have got to be fucking kidding me…” my words left my lungs as if  the wind had been knocked out of me.

“He put the Delta on his no-no list!” Cooper tried to console the situation. But there was no remedying it. The room was spinning. I literally cannot have one thing, one thing that is mine. 

ATF was MY thing. MINE. Dexter and I were together while I filled out my application. He spent the night when I hit submit online. He messaged another girl she was beautiful the day of my interview. Shit head. Sure, he was supportive throughout the process, but at the time he was not interested at all. Not for himself at least. I know there’s like, 10,000 org members. I know he won’t be in my region. But I wanted to feel like I really could have my own thing and now I feel like in the smallest sense, on the tiniest level, I have to share this. With him. 

And now he knows where I will be working… Now he knows my fucking future. A future I wanted to be private and free of the poison of the person who has fucked with my world for YEARS.

My life is the most abnormal. 

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